Once in a Lifetime ~ guest post by nate blevins

I'm excited to continue the series of guest posts on dreams with one from my good friend, Nate Blevins. He's married to Ashley, who also wrote a guest post here last fall about moving to Los Angeles.

I asked Nate to share about what it was like to support his wife in her dream to move to Los Angeles and write. Another post is coming from my friend Jake next week from the same perspective. Both do a great job of addressing this question: What about the people supporting the dreams of their family?

While I've known them for a couple of years, Nate and Ashley in the last six months have introduced me to El Limon in Conshohocken and the movie Happythankyoumoreplease, supported me through rough waters, and re-ignited my passion for my dreams. I'm really grateful for these friends. They are amazing people, and I hope you enjoy this post from Nate.

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There is a song that came out 33 years ago that still tends to strike a chord deep within me when I hear it. I’m sure you’ve heard it before and never really paid much mind to it. It’s by the band Talking Heads and it’s called Once In A Lifetime. In a nutshell, the song is about how life will continually creep up on you and catch you off guard. And that it’s OK.

16 months ago, I was living in Pennsylvania with my wife, Ashley. I had been with the same company for close to 7 years, and I was ready for a change. I had been given an opportunity with a company that I finally felt like I was being valued at. So excited for the new beginnings, I wrote a post about it.

I spent less than two months with the company, and I was spent. The job was fine, and the potential to grow with a hefty salary was definitely present. Despite the benefits, I ended up not connecting with my peers on a work and moral level. To me, it was devastating. I resigned on a Tuesday in November of 2012. With hope, and potential, I maneuvered to get my old job back. That fell apart, and I quickly realized I was unemployed for the first time.

“Take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.” Guys, Ms. Frizzle is always right.

When Ashley asked me about moving to LA to support her dreams of being a writer, the decision was always easy. She was always there to support me. When I left my job for a better opportunity, she supported me. When I left that job because I was unhappy, she supported me. While I searched 2 months for a job, she supported me. When we didn’t have money for gifts because I wasn’t working during Christmas, she wasn’t upset. She held us together during that time, and she was the rock.

Last January, I was able to find a new job, and get this, the salary was better than the bad job I had quit. The work was more up my alley, and I knew I had the option to transfer with this company. For months, LA had been a discussion. When you run out of money, have no job, and have no idea what is going on, a discussion like that can turn into a dream. While at work my first week, I got this stirring in me. I thought, This is crazy, but it’s right. I came home, walked through the door, and the first thing I said was, “Let’s move to LA by the end of this year.” We made a goal to get there by the first week of October. And WE did it.

Looking back at the influences in our life, I look to our mentors Buddy and Chelle. They were our pastors in high school, then through college, and during the first years of our marriage. They have been an unwavering example of how to support one another. Be it Buddy going back to college, or Chelle taking a principal position, or Buddy launching a new church. In the best of times and the worst of times, they will always support each other and be each others biggest fan.

Ashley and I have a story that’s uncommon today. We are only 26 and have been together for 40% of our short lives. We celebrated our 10 years being a couple, and 5 years of being man and wife this past summer. We are having the time of our lives, and living it to the fullest. I feel as if a lot of people think, “Nate is so great, moving all the way out there to help her pursue her dreams.” In reality, her dreams are my dreams. Her success is my success. Her happiness is my happiness. When you look at it that way, the once-in-a-lifetime decision was easy to make.

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

You may find yourself living in another part of the world

You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife

You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

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When not storming a castle or fighting a dragon for his wife Ashley, Nate can be found exploring Civil War battlefields or browsing tech blogs. He works in the construction industry, and wishes dearly Ron Swanson was his boss. He can also make a killer grilled cheese. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram, @nateblevins.

Fresh from LA: Lessons I've Learned ~ guest post by ashley blevins

Something I've been especially passionate about as of late is the idea that life is short--too short to put off chasing our dreams, to live in fear of the unknown or of failure. Which is why I'm excited for this post from Ashley Blevins. I'm starting a series of guest posts, which Ashley's kicking off,  from people and friends who are in various stages of going after their dreams. Hopefully, we can inspire you to dream, act on those dreams, and set yourselves free from whatever's holding you back. 

Ashley's a dear friend who recently moved out to Los Angeles with her husband Nate and some friends to pursue her dream of being a writer. I asked her to write about what she's learned in the process of actually taking the first steps toward making her dream happen.

She's the co-founder, -writer, -funny person at The Baby Bangs. You can find her there, or follow The Baby Bangs on Twitter, or just follow her on Twitter.

I couldn't be more excited for her as she begins this awesome adventure in LA, or for you to read this post. Enjoy.

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I was really excited when Paul gave me the chance to write this because it caused me to stop and think about how insane the last couple months of my life have been.

Allow me to give you a real quick summary of things and where I am at with them: I’m a 26-year-old female human that recently moved 3,000+ miles across the country. I’ve worked solely in retail for my entire “professional” career, and on an unrelated note, I’ve been miserable for my entire “professional” career. I love to write. I’m an AMAZING watcher of any and all television screens. I am only capable of remembering useless pop culture trivia.

So the next logical step was obviously to move to California. By my logic, if I’m going to be a struggling (emphasis on the struggling) writer slowly working towards being the comedic writing genius that I want to be, I might as well do it here. It’s a dream that I never thought I would come close to.

I’m a small town bumpkin. It feels like I’m on vacation. I have no idea what I’m really doing. I spent months going back and forth from smiling until my face hurt to crying hysterically in the middle of the night wondering if I am making a huge mistake.

Here are a couple of things I have learned during this experience thus far. They’ve meant a lot to me and it feels good to get them out. I’m still working them out. You’re still reading? You’re amazing. Have at it.

1. Learn to be unapologetic about the things that you know you want to do.

It took me a long time to be able to tell people that I wanted to work my way into writing and/or performing as a career. And even then, putting the idea out in the open isn’t as easy as it sounds. I mean…I guess it could be for some people.

But not so much for me.

I have friends who are (ACTUAL REAL LIFE) doctors, teachers, and business bigwigs. People who have delivered babies in other countries and record albums for bands we’ve all listened to. This might sound like bragging until you remember that I’m telling you I know all of these people to prove the point that compared to them I know NOTHING.

I’ve worked in spotty retail jobs here and there without a real commitment for years. So saying to these people “I think I’m going to move to LA and try this thing” was terrifying to me. Usually it would turn into a conversation of “Well if you can’t do it now when can you?” and “It’s an exciting opportunity” when really all I had to say was I really want to give this thing a go.

Realizing that I don’t have to justify the choice to any person I come in contact with has been freeing.

2. Take note of whose opinion REALLY matters.

Once I got up the nerve to say this is what I wanted, a slew of opinions came rushing in:

• “You’re going to hate California. I’ve lived there. I give you six months tops. You’ll be back.”

• “Why? It’s so expensive. Good luck figuring out how to deal with those taxes.”

• “Ugh, the traffic.”

• “Couldn’t you just try to do that in New York? Then you wouldn’t be leaving your family behind.”

• “You’re crazy.”

But guess what? None of that matters when you have people who mean the most to you and whose voice you hear the loudest supporting you.

When your parents start making plans to visit before you even leave. When your Dad drives a moving truck across the country to help.

Most importantly, when you have a husband willing to completely change his job, move everything you own and start all over again somewhere he’s never even been so you can try and get your chance. If you take the time to think about it, it’s easy to remember whose opinion you should actually take into consideration.

3. Take time to realize what you’re actually afraid of.

It’s also taken me a while to realize the fear I was experiencing involving this move might be a little more complicated than I had originally thought.

It would be perfectly natural and normal to be scared of moving to a new state a million miles away, regardless of the reason why. Starting a new job and moving are two super easy ways to convince everyone you’re an absolute monster after the stress starts to eat you alive. The trick is to realize you could be feeling this fear for more than just those reasons.

In the countless hours spent panicking about this upcoming life change, I realized another reason I was so paranoid was because I was more afraid of what could happen if I applied myself rather than what wasn’t going to happen when I got here. Because getting here is a huge part of the battle. Making friends with like-minded people, who are also ambitious about writing or performing or trying to be funny, can’t set me back; it can only help me grow.

So maybe I needed to focus on turning that fear into excitement for new opportunities. It’s definitely scary and I’m going to be shot down more times than not, but it’s also a pretty insane learning experience that I just couldn’t get prior to this move.

Do I have everything together? Absolutely not. I started a new job this week I’m hoping won’t make me want to bang my head against a wall every morning.

I need to save up money to be able to live before I can sign up for the classes I want to take.

I have to figure out more ways to show my husband how thankful I am that he’s willing to tag along for this ride.

I need to remember to wear sunscreen and to bring reusable totes every time I go to the store. A lot of ground to cover.

It’s getting there. I’m getting there.

I hope you are too.

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Keep up with Ashley and her love of pop culture at The Baby Bangs.

Which of these lessons resonates the most with you? Talk to us.